Category: Pain

Advent First 2015



Today is the first Advent and we lit the first candle with anticipation for what is to come.
In our family the burning candle was also for our snuggle-loved puppy, Kingsley. He slept his way to the other side earlier today …
Our hearts are breaking and there is no end to my tears today. I only find comfort in that he doesn’t suffer anymore. We were fortunate to be able to love him with all our hearts until the end.
I am anticipating what may come with a broken heart. But it’s in the crack of our hearts light can shine in.

The Illness

My ear resting in midair above your mouth.
Puffs of air against my earlobe soothe me.
You are still here.
My hand on your cheek.
Skin to skin to give strength.
Can you sense me?
You open your eyes.
I look in to your tormented gaze,
swimming in your pain.
I know only one thing.
To be by your side,
never to let go.
With every needle,
with every foreign fluid.
We are at the mercy of the white coats.
Your small fingers searching mine.
We belong.
My fingertips sensing
your heart’s rhythm.
Too fast, too long.
Who is the Father that lets his child suffer?
I do not know him.
My faith stumbles.
Your former self dancing in my memory.
My grip will never loosen.
Your heart remains mine.