Category: Nature

May came and the fog rolled in

 

My inner being is just like the fog that just rolled in outside.

The fog covers both the ocean and the mountains.  It is dense, just like the fog inside of me and it is hanging over both my heart and soul.  Ready to lift.  Ready to shift.

Outside in nature, the fog burns off over the ocean in the afternoon.  I need to do a similar thing with my own inner fog, my fog that diminishes my clarity over life.

My inner core is one big fog of emotions.

Some feelings are welcome.  These feelings I embrace full on.

Other emotions that exist inside of me are unwanted.  The unwanted ones, I just try to push away.  I do not want to feel, think, or even experience them.

So what do I do when my unwanted feelings start to rise inside of me?  They arise like a hot burning volcano ready to burst.  I cannot let all that anger, frustration and sadness come out.

Not now.  Not yet.

So I move … just like the fog outdoors is constantly drifting, so am I.  I need to be in motion … so I run, walk, lift weights and do yoga.  Sometimes I even dance by myself.  To let the body feel the rhythm in my veins, and let the lyrics both soothe and strengthen my soul.

I need to heal.  I need to be strong.  Inside and out.

We all have been in situations that we wished never happened, and I was just recently in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I cannot change what happened.  The only thing today that I can change and that I have power over, is how I deal with the aftermath.  The aftermath of the situation that I was involuntary in and could not avoid for my life.

I never had a chance to say no.  I was never asked, and I never had a chance to run away.

Now when I am safe, I cannot sit and feel these unwanted feelings.  Me, who always have said: “Do not avoid your emotions, sit with them and accept them.”  I am the one who now is running away from them.  Or am I perhaps running with them?  Maybe what I am doing is a healthy outlet to be able to process the unwanted situation over time.  Maybe.

Because if I sit with the memory and the feelings that come with reliving  the event, I think that I will fall apart.

I do not want the unwanted situation to have that power over me.  I want to have power over myself.

So by moving my body I more and more believe that I am having a healthy outlet for all my emotions.  I am actually not avoiding my feelings.  They are with me every step of the way.

There is nothing wrong with shifting focus on your emotions and experiencing different feeelings.  It is what we do with them that matters.

By moving my body more, I am giving myself a gift.  My brain gets more oxygen, my blood shifts to all my organs and flows easier through my veins.

With every step that I take, I can feel that the fog is slightly lifting from my heart.

One day I know I will have run out out from the fog inside of me.

One day, rays of sunshine from acceptance and love will burn my inner fog away.

One day I will see clearly again, the day that the dense fog has burned off all of its heaviness.

Once the fog has moved away from me, I will not feel lost anymore.

Until then, I will continue to do what I can in this moment.

To put one foot in front of the other and move forward.

I could not run then, but I can now.

So I will.

Run, run – run,

faster into the sun.

 

Welcome March!

With mixed emotions I am welcoming the first month of spring.  Depending on where you live, spring might still be far away – it might already have come, or you might not experience a lot of changes in seasons where you live.  Regardless of where you live, if the nature and the weather changes seasons or not, you might change seasons internally anyway.  Those changes can be called emotions or feelings, or even seasons within us.

If we for one moment go back to the changes we see around us in nature and what different types of weather we experience, we can all pretend that we have real winter with snow, cold weather and short dark days, then spring comes  with longer days and greener hills.  We soak up the sun with lighter days in the summer, and finally fall arrives with crisp air and trees with leaves in a ray of amber colors.  That’s a lot of dramatic changes in nature in one year.

The same can happen within ourselves in a year.  We can have a period of dark difficult times, easier days with spring in our steps, heavy weight on our shoulders that are lifted when we are surrounded by inspiring energy, and also days when we can reflect upon all the different colors and shades within our deepest self that shape us.

Where I live now we have small changes of seasons, and it’s very different from my country of origin, Sweden. In Sweden there are drastic changes between the four seasons.  With a lot of changes in the nature that surrounds us and the weather, we also will experience changes within.

With the sometimes rainy grey fall and longer darker winter months in certain parts of the world, it is easy to feel tired and a little low.  Sometimes you might also feel more lonely and separated from the world, as most people are hurrying down the streets to escape the harsh weather to find warm comfort inside a building.  Hiding from the outside in other words.   But the outside can be beautiful as well. There is a saying in my “old country”: “There is no bad weather – only bad clothing.”  Think of a hillside full of snow when the sun is shining.  It’s so glitteringly beautiful that it even can make us gasp for air.  Breathtaking in other words.  So with all the different seasons, it’s good and bad.  Just as life.

We have darker and more difficult days, whereas other days can lift us up and we feel energized.

Does everything affect us from the outside and in though? No, I will dare to say.  It is all about our attitude and reaction.  We are our thoughts.  As a result of our thoughts come a certain behavior.  So I’m pretty certain we are what our behavior shows.  Are we angry, bitter and resentful towards the world?  Or are we compassionate, empathic and loving to one another?

Whether we react to the weather changes outside, or to people around us, does not matter.  It is how we react to the outside world that defines us.  It defines who we truly are deep within.

It’s all like the serenity prayer.  You need to know what you cannot change, change what you can, and understand plus accept the difference.

So with all the words written above I’ve metaphorically compared changes in seasons in nature with changes of emotions within us.  That was intentional on my part.

It can be difficult to transfer from one season to another, as it can be very hard to come to terms with certain situations and circumstances in your life.  You just need to know what you can control or not.  Ultimately the only thing you can control is yourself.

So what do we do when it’s a grey rainy day? We might not like it, but we cannot change it.  All we can do is to grab a raincoat, umbrella, accept the weather as it is and step out into the street and greet the world anyway.

The same goes for when you’re being beaten down with one hardship after another in life.  You might not like it, but you cannot control what happens to you. Only how you react to it. You don’t need to like the situation you’re in, but you need to accept it.  Sit and really feel it.  There is no escape rout here.  As much as you cannot skip the downpour of the rain, you cannot jump over an obstacle in your life.  You need to walk right through it.  Getting soaked in tears perhaps instead of the rain.  And on the other side of the rainbow your tears will have landed in your heart.  Gently to flood your inner being of lessons learned and wisdom gained.

You made it out from your inner storm, and for that you came out stronger on the other side.  Believe me, there is no way to go around anything.  Whether it is a rain cloud or a heartbreak. The only way to make it in both circumstances is with a lot of determination to take one step at a time.  Forward.  All the while with a gentle heart towards yourself.

As I am writing, I am hearing gusty winds outside.  It makes the whole house shutter.  I am in a phase in my life where a lot of unwanted changes are happening and the future is as uncertain as always.  So at this moment, I do not know if this spring will be as bright and colorful for my heart as the flowers are in my garden right now. Or if there will be a constant shadow darkening my soul. No one can know what the future might bring and that is sometimes the beauty of life.  Right now though, I honestly wish I knew that the next couple of months would be a little brighter and full of colorful surprises feeding my soul.  Then I will try my best to bring some bright colors into someone else’s life.  Always pay it forward.  That is the gift of living.

I will end tonight’s writing with a sentence from one of my favorite Swedish poets – the late, Karin Boye, wrote: “It hurts when buds burst”.

So I am imagining that most of us at one time or several times in our life, we will have a bud that is about to burst open within us. The process might hurt a lot, but afterwards you will blossom.  I promise.

I am ready for spring and to let the bud inside of me burst.  It will be painful. I also know two more things:  it will be worth it and I will eventually blossom.

So will you!

Super Moon and Solar Eclipse

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The sky is powerful tonight, as there will be a Super Moon and Solar eclipse in enchanting, ethereal Pisces.

This will bring a flood of compassionate and healing energy to our planet Earth, while also exposing what’s been hidden.

Be prepared to welcome the new and unexpected, as eclipses can bring sudden changes and reinventions.  Look back to journals, memories, and life changes from March 20, 2015, for clues to what may resurface or move into its next phase of development on March 8.

Pisces is ruled by Neptune, planet of the subconscious and illusions.  We may just have to stop fighting and go with the flow.

Magic is possible today, so suspend all beliefs.  As an example; Albert Einstein, whose theory of relativity turned our concept of reality on its head, was a Pisces.

The Pisces new moon prods us to consider that maybe what we think we know isn’t the only possibility …

Pisces is the sign of surrender and release.  Under the spell of the intuition sign, we’d all do well to hand over the metaphorical reins to the universe – which might have a better plan than whatever our mortal minds can concoct.  Be lead by your curiosity and not your anxiety.  You are being guided, so pay attention.

Daydreamer Pisces encourages you to ride a divinely inspired wave.  Pisces new moon encourages you to follow your muse.

I am following mine, which means that I am listening to my heart and do not question the messages I receive with every heartbeat.  Dare to walk to your own beat, step out to the unknown and find a new world that only you can see and feel.

That is how you best harvest this Super Moon and Solar Eclipse, and I wish you all a fruitful harvest – in mind, body and soul.

You have probably already guessed it; yes I am a Pisces.  So what I wrote above is my truth.  What is yours?

May came crashing in

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All of a sudden the month of May was here.  Where did April go?  I felt that I had been going from one thing to another without a stop.  The first weekend of May I decided it was time for a well needed break with just a morning walk on the beach, except there was no beach to be seen when I came down to the ocean.  Only water that had built up to a swell and crashed into shore.  Little did I know that was how I would feel for most of May, that a big wave came crashing into and over me.

Life is full of changes and unexpected situations, some are welcome while others are not.  This May has greeted with me with situations that made me feel like I was swept out from shore with a current so strong I had to stay in the water against my will.  Other times I have been able to do what you are supposed to do, ride with the tide.

So with the good and the bad, with both internal storms and several storms from Mother Earth, all I can do is to learn that you cannot go against the current.  Acceptance of something you cannot control is very difficult, and at times it will leave you gulping for air.  But one thing is for sure, after a storm comes a welcoming calm.  Embrace it and breathe in the love around you and breathe out the stuggles.  That way you will stand more firmly rooted when the next storm hits, and when it does – what do you do?

You ride with the tide.

 

 

New Moon in Aries

aries-new-moonLast week the new Moon was in Aries.  Its effect is not for one night only.  It is not a lover for a night who leaves you at the break of dawn.  This new Moon can have an affect on you for many days, like a new crush hanging around.  This new Moon is positive, just like a new love.  It  can also be seen as a spring awakening, rebooting our systems for an entire year.  As we do with a newfound love interest, we need to feel our way through the energies within us to make the best of it.

A new Moon will always give you a portal of two weeks in which to work, and the actions you take in that window of time can have the power to affect you positively for an entire year.  So let us make this new love affair to get off to a good start.  “How can I do that?”, you wonder.  Here are a few things to consider during this time period, all to maximize the energy within you right now:

Let anger lead you to passion

This might sound strange, but anger does not need to be a negative emotion in and of itself.  It is how we use it that matters.  It is time to find that inner warrior, because the things that upset us are often the pointers to our passion.  We can start to create a constructive change, fighting the good fight for our beliefs.

* Find your fight

Try to think if you might have given up on something or someone too soon?  If so, dust yourself off and go back to fight for what you deserve and want in your life.  If you do not know what your fight and desire is, be still and it will find you.

* Be selfish … for a cause 

There is a great saying that rings true in regards to this matter that I am trying to take to heart.  Hopefully it will ring true for you as well:  “There can be a desire to receive to share, or the desire to receive for self alone”.  When we want something just for ourselves, we burn out fast.  When we desire an abundant life for others, the universe is happy to give us more and more.

Aries energy can stun us with its entitlement.  It can also inspire us.  Aries are unafraid and want more – and this can be the basis for our inspiration to desire more.  For others.

* Tune your passion meter to E (for excitement)

When was the last time you truly felt genuine excitement and joy about something?  The Aries new Moon prompts us to awaken a spine-tingling feeling.  Let that blood pump through your veins so you can feel every beat, springing you into action.  Passion is an essential element of living a fulfilled life, and the Aries new Moon serves us as a reminder.  Emotions are E-motion.  When we can FEEL something, we can move it.  So let joy and passion help us get unstuck.

* Embrace your inner fame

This new Moon wants us to pursue our passions and awaken our gifts.  The journey starts with a baby step in the right direction towards your passion and dream.  Dare to take that first step to the unknown.

* But do not let it go to your head …

With all the daring energy swirling around, there is also a good deal of stress that accompanies it.  As the “head” of the zodiac, Aries rules the cranium and this new Moon turns our healing focus there.  So maybe go for a scalp massage or ask someone to gently rub your neck and shoulders, which are often the cause of cranial agony.  Also, remember to stay hydrated and take note of your breathing.  Make sure that you stop to take a break a few times per day, and take several deep breaths to let your mind and body relax.  This will hopefully prevent you from getting tension headaches.

So let Aries send you focusing on creative opportunities, sharing your gift with others and letting new beginnings begin!

 

 

Solar Eclipse and Spring Equinox

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This day started with a total Solar Eclipse that could be seen in parts of the world.  Thirteen hours later the Spring Equinox began.  The Moon tonight is a very powerful New Moon, so there are a lot of different energies in the atmosphere at the same time.

Today is associated with “new beginnings” in our lives.  That can mean a new beginning for certain things or just a need to permanently end certain things.  Right now it is important to remember the saying “an ending is also a beginning”.

Maybe there are things, situations, relationships, etc. that do not serve us well anymore.  This is a time to wash away negative aspects in your life, aspects which do not reflect who you truly are.  Pause and tune in to your true self.  This is all about that we are at a choice point.  It is the end of avoidance.

Surrender to the flow of life.   Let regret, shame, sorrow or sadness for chances now gone go.  They were not for this time.

So pause and listen to the original story of your soul.

 

 

Spring Forward!

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Spring is here, and with that a new promise. A promise of longer and brighter days. The energy in the air will hopefully also spill over to our inner world. Life feels a little easier when we can get some rays of sunshine into our souls, and there is a little more bounce in our steps,

I have spent the last month juggling responsibilities with trying to stay healthy. I have had too many items on my to-do-list. I easily forgot myself. I know I am not alone in this. We sit at the computer to just answer one more e-mail or to take one more phone call. In a blink of an eye the day is gone. I maybe accomplished a lot of tasks but I missed a really essential part. I missed putting me on that list. After a hectic February, I realize that I actually need to schedule appointments with myself. To catch a breath, to exercise, to eat right and sometimes to take time-out to relax, either relaxing with a cup of tea and a book, or spending time in the company of family and close friends.

I have not been completely out of touch with the importance of trying to stay healthy and feeding my inner self,  but I could have done better. It is now mid-March and we have switched over to summertime here in the US. They call it Spring Forward, and that is what March has done so far. The last couple of days it even skipped spring and became summer. We have had record warm weather and today I finally took that well needed break from duties and responsibilities. With the warm sun lingering longer over the horizon, I took the season’s first dip in the pool. I needed to cool my body and head several times throughout this hot day. Refreshed inside and out, I now am doing what I am supposed to do. I am writing … It is not something that I have to do, but need to do. Why? Because it feeds my inner self with pure joy and I am connecting with You. I missed that this last month, and I need to learn how to prioritize me-time. Time management is what it is called in the business world. In my world it is just pure self-care. Please do not forget yourself in the buzz of responsibilities. Put yourself in your calendar and spend some time doing or being who you are at the core. What is it that brings fire to your soul? Go out and do that, or sit with it if that is the case. Soon I will watch the last rays of sun dip over the horizon and my heart beats calmly. I was able to just be me today. Hope you had a chance to be You as well.

 

Welcome February!

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It is easy for me to welcome a new “winter month” standing outside, letting the sun warm my face.  The sun is breathing life, and I feel it in every pore of my body.

Not everyone can step out into the warmth of the sun right now.  What you can do though, is to step outside and breathe fresh air.  even if it is just for a brief moment.  The fresh air, (almost) regardless of temperature will clear your mind and free your senses.

As hard as the dark winter months can be in the Northern Hemisphere, you who live there, will endure and make the most of it.  Trust me, I have lived with real winters most of my life, so I do know how difficult it can be.  I also know that the sun will shine with warm bright rays upon your skin again.  It is a known fact, so hold onto that image and cozy up after breathing some fresh air.  Cozy up by the fire, light some candles and just be.

So even if I do not need to shovel snow or put on winter clothes, I had to experience what the New Year brought me, like for all of you.  January started with a BOOM in all kinds of directions, and I am now trying to navigate how I will spend my time the next eleven months of this year.

The year started off with a lot of demands of my time, an emotional blow to the heart and some minor medical issues.  All of a sudden I sat with a “to-do-list” so large that I did not even know where to start.  I am used to being my own boss, and with some new responsibilities I had to rethink.  To prioritize correctly and manage my time plus energy became my biggest challenge.

I wanted to take on my new responsibilities with a clear head.  To do so, I needed to center myself emotionally.

The other day when the demands and tasks seemed too overwhelming. I did what I have done so many times before.  I closed the computer, turned off the phone, and put away all the papers that were spread around me.  I stepped outside to our front lawn and saw the beauty in front of me.

With several deep breaths, I saw everything clearly and smelled the goodness around me.  The salty ocean, the lush bushes and the magical sky were all there for me to take in with all my senses.

The cool evening air calmed my mind and stilled my emotions.  I walked back inside to not just do, but also to be.

Sunrise

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I woke up this morning sensing something different behind my curtains.  There was a warm glow reaching my face making me wanting to get up.  To want to get out of bed is a very rare feeling for me, as I am not a morning person.

I took my robe and surprised my teenage son to be in the kitchen that early.  He normally is there long before me, so he asked me why I was up.  “To watch the sunset”, I replied.  “You mean the sunrise”, laughed my son with a grin on his face.  “Yes, that is what I mean”, I laughed back.

Both of us knowing that I have seen plenty of beautiful sunsets but I can count on my fingers how many times I have seen the sunrise.  I mean, to really see it rise.  Of course I have stumbled out of bed to get going in the morning plenty of times.  Often just struggling with the fact that I have to be up early, completely missing the actual sunrise.  This morning was different.

I went outside and saw the sky transform from a slightly lit orange glow to a full canvas painted in the most beautiful shades of pink together with some orange strokes.  As I stood there I was inhaling the morning-glory and exhaling the night.  I welcomed this new day with a child’s wonder.  This world IS beautiful, and I need to greet it with gratitude, was all that I felt.

This day stirred something new within me.  I need to do this again.

I need to watch the sun rise from below the horizon to fully visible in the sky.  As the sun greets us, I have to welcome a new day.  Later, I will say goodnight to this beautiful world.  So there will be no more of just sunsets, sunrises are equally as magnificent.

Good morning glorious earth!